Me vs. Technology

About once a year, some sort of electronic device prompts an infuriated rant against technology from me. This year, that device is my phone. My new phone, to be exact. You see, I unfortunately dropped my beloved, albeit somewhat elderly, phone in the toilet last week and the screen went from fuzzy white to black within a matter of seconds. The fine people at the phone store encouraged me to place Old Phone in a bowl of rice in hopes of drying it out and salvaging my contact list, but basically said I need New Phone regardless. So, a-shopping I went.

I will admit to you that I am extremely intimidated by the phone store. Everything is decorated in black and gray, and the phones themselves are not one bit warm or cuddly. All the new phones, which I supposedly need in order to get anything remotely productive done, look like small TV’s (another contraption I can’t really figure out) or computers (a device which I use but secretly loathe). I finally found one that seemed somewhat benign – it has a QWERTY keypad, which reminds me of a typewriter, which makes me happy. So, I quickly bought it and high-tailed it out of that cold place.

Upon returning home with my purchase I discovered that I, in fact, hate my new phone. I tried to call my mom and since the phone doesn’t have any number buttons (Seriously? It’s a phone, you’re supposed to make calls! I want real number buttons, people!), I had to click and drag six screens to get to a “phone call” setting in which I could dial up my sweet mother. Then, I attempted to simply check my text messages and it took me another ten minutes of “pinching” and “sliding” things to get to my inbox. I tried to type a message but apparently my fingers are four sizes too big to be typing on those letter buttons because I would go to hit the “H” button and would simultaneously hit the “J” and the “G” as well. 

So, in conclusion, I decided I would simply like a rotary dial phone. All I really need to do is make a couple phone calls a day – I don’t need any apps or maps to do that. I don’t want to edit my own ringtones or shop for cars on my phone, I simply want to make a call.  It’s also possible that I just really hate change and actually belong in the 1950’s, but that’s neither here nor there. So, if you’d like to get a jump start on your Christmas shopping this year, here is what I want: