Need Further Proof?

I decided to title this entry Need Further Proof that You’re Pregnant?                   

As if the ginormous belly and lopped-over cankles weren’t enough to give away my current state, I’ve recently found myself on a hormone-fueled roller coaster that only adds to the obvious. Here are some true stories from the past few days alone…

Yesterday, while driving through the Backyard Burger drive-thru, I politely requested that my husband ask for extra ketchup packets for my Combo Meal, which he promptly did. However, after we’d driven away from the window, I rummaged through the bag to find said packet and found – gasp – nothing! They not only forgot my extra ketchup, they didn’t include ANY! Well, I immediately began to misty-eyed and could feel a sob-fest rising up in my throat. But in the interest of having to look half-way pulled together later, I composed myself and choked down my dry fries.

Two hours later – hungry once again – we stopped at Chick-Fil-A where I ordered yet another combo meal, this one a chicken strip meal with the works. Still hopeful to salvage my belief in the fast-food system, I once again requested that Hubby bring back a sauce or two for the nuggets. Well, being the great husband that he is, he not only brought back a ketchup packet, he brought back an entire bag full of condiments! As I dug into the bag of pre-packaged sauces and dips, I began to get teary-eyed at the glorious site before me: BBQ Sauce! Ranch Dip! Honey Mustard! Heinz packets! My heart swelled and I could no longer hold back my emotions. Soon, I found myself weeping tears of joy at the paper bag full of manufactured tomato-based products. 

Last night, while getting up to go to the bathroom for the third time in the middle of the night, I spotted a black, furry thing scurrying across the floor of our shower. There’s not much you can quickly identify at 3 in the morning, but if you’re me, you can spot a spider at 20 paces. I knew what I had to do, but delirious from no sleep, and still puffy-eyed from my Emotional Ketchup Day, I quickly tried to think of every other option besides smooshing the arachnid – wake up Drew? Spray Spider with the shower nozzle? I weighed my options then quickly grabbed a nearby cup and trapped the racey shower spider underneath. I felt satisfied with my choice of weapon and retreated back to bed with no further incident. But when I awoke to take my shower today, I saw the cup and gulped, hoping for the best when I removed his tent. Slowly I lifted the plastic house off the bug, and just as I thought he might, he raced out, apparently not fazed a bit by his short time spent in captivity. I tried to politely and humanely rinse him down the drain, and then, on the verge of tears once again, promptly called my mom to see if I could use her shower today.

Who is this crazy person, you may ask? I wonder the same thing daily. And so does my husband, I’m sure. Though I didn’t really need any further proof that I am in fact pregnant, my crazed behavior is a good reminder. It’s a happy kind of crazy though, and I have my built-in buddy to thank for it 🙂